guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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