They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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