Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
