I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
