You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
