Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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