why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
