with your own penis?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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