I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
