That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
How's work?
Spinning.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
