He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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