I am puke
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my shit smells like andre
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
