I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
My bed is full of blood and feathers
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
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