hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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