I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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