Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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