Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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