so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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