A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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