At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
