I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
