i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Fuck me I smell like cheese
PANTIES FOUND
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