There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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