Kiss
Puke
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
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