Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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