I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
