THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
