I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
