Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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