It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
