drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize