Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
