I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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