no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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