i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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