Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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