It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
