my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Never underestimate the power of titties
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
