I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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