Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just threw up on my dentist
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
