I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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