oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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