what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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