3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
