Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
