i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
