what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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