this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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