That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
