I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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