If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
