We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
